Want to know what my best happiness advice is? It’s all here!

Here’s the TEDx video description:

Christine Carter studies human happiness — and what holds us back from living our most joyful lives. In a personal, eyebrow-raising talk, she shares the surprising secret to feeling fulfilled. This is a talk to share with anyone addicted to social media.”

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  • LVS

    I’m not too sure about all of this. I think that sometimes, we do need to put on a certain face or behaviour in order to smooth relationships and social connections with others. We live in a society that functions on our care and consideration of each other. For example, my son recently got in to “trouble” at school because he had a big tantrum over how he felt he was treated by other kids, and then spent the next two days reading in class, ignoring his teachers when they asked him to put the book away, and didn’t do any work or participate in any class activities. One might say that this was “integrity” – he was being his authentic self – but he does need to consider the impact that his behaviour has on others and the world around him, and the potential consequences to himself in the short and long term. So yes, I would expect that he needs to moderate his behaviour in order to get along in society and make the world a better place for everyone. He might have been “living his truth” but it was causing problems for others, as well as himself.

    • Christine Carter

      Hmmm. I’m not sure that this is a good example of someone living their truth, or an example of integrity, as much as it is an example of someone holding a grudge. I don’t think that grudge is core to who he really is. He was still mad about what happened, and probably hurt, too. He could have shared that in a respectful (or at least effective, if they’d lost his respect) way with his teachers. I do think that we often have to do things that are unpleasant, that aren’t our first choice, etc., but that it doesn’t necessarily lack integrity to do so. For example, I find traffic unpleasant, but I don’t act out about it (through road rage or something).

      I do agree, though, that It would have lacked integrity if your son had pretended to be happy when he wasn’t.

  • panettonea

    I just watched this video. It’s a very good one. I think some additional clarification would make it even more helpful. For instance, there are difficult (but common) situations like this: Let’s say you can’t stand your boss, who you feel is abusive, controlling, etc., but you really need your job. As long you’re at that job, you will probably need to put on a positive face and just make the best of the situation, not really giving your boss a clue about how you really feel. That doesn’t mean, of course, letting your boss treat you like a total doormat, but your options to live out your “honesty” in such a situation will likely be very limited. But I don’t really think that’s being dishonest—it’s just being smart. And obviously you would eventually want to move on to a better job where you could—at least for the most part—be yourself.

    Another thing that would be helpful is clarifying what one’s own “truth” really is. For instance, what if you continually have feelings that you would like to rob a bank or shoot someone? Of course, you should not ignore such feelings, but obviously you wouldn’t want to think, “This is how I really feel. It’s who I am.” Instead, you would want to say, “These feelings are frightening and unhealthy. I don’t hate myself for having them, but I definitely want to find help so that I don’t do something terrible that would hurt lots of people.”

    Of course, the points I made above are basically just common sense, but I think they are worth addressing in the context of this discussion, because to some folks, they may not be so obvious.

    Anyway, I found your video informative and enjoyable.